


Blue Moon

by sburbanite



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dirk as the mortified boyfriend, Halloween, Jake as a Na'vi, M/M, update
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 10:23:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8442061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sburbanite/pseuds/sburbanite
Summary: Jake's Halloween costume is...an interesting choiceAlternative title: The night everyone made sure Jake didn't need to bend over to reach anything





	

**Author's Note:**

> I can't get over Jake's blue ass. I will never get over it.

“Look, mate, are you going to help or are you going to just stand there with a befuddled expression in your face?”

Jake is wearing a loincloth and absolutely nothing else. It’s not the sight you expected to see when he called you in to help with his Halloween costume. He turns and grabs what looks like a gallon of blue paint from the floor and *dear lord* there is nothing left to the imagination.

“I can’t paint my back, so you’re going to have to roll up your…ok you don’t have sleeves, so I guess take off your gloves and get stuck in!”

Jake is grinning like an idiot. You wonder how he can be so fucking perfect and yet do shit like this.

“Jake. You’re naked. You can’t go as naked Jake for Halloween.”

“I am not! I’m wearing traditional Na’vi clothing, thank you very much! I’ve done my research very thoroughly. If you’re not going to be helpful I can do my own bally makeup.”

Jake sniffs and frowns, and you feel a little bad about puncturing his enthusiasm. He complimented your black hair and sharpie goatee, after all. Most of you is painfully aware that your ecto-family is about to get an eyeful of your boyfriend’s bare ass, however. Your face is turning as red as the ironically awesome bodysuit laid out on the bed for you to put on later.

“Jake, bro…your dedication is fucking impressive but, like…your ass just right out there, man. Twin moons rising, full on, cheeks to the wind exposed. You really want your ecto-kids staring at your butt all night?”

“Oh, Dirk!” Jake says, shaking with laughter, “this isn’t the WHOLE costume! Of course there’s more of it!”

You breathe a sigh of relief, and allow yourself to silently chuckle along with him. Jake bends down again (holy shit there had better be something else because you’re pretty sure you’ll be the only one enjoying the show this evening), and fishes something out from beneath the bed.

“See! I need to wear _this_ to be a real Na’vi, obviously! I’m not jollyfucking around here, Strider. You needn’t fear for my modesty, old chap!”

Jake is holding a tail, woven out of blue yarn. It’s about an inch and a half wide. You groan internally. Jake is going to be basically naked all night and there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s a special kind of torture designed just for you and the smile on Jake’s face and the cheeky slant of his eyebrow suggests it’s…completely intentional.

_Well, fuck._

You take the blue paint and sponge and get to work. He laughs when it tickles him in a few places, and by the time he’s finished he looks ridiculous.

But, even though this is _stupid so stupid goddamn this is so fucking stupid_ he _still_ manages to make it look good.

“I will never understand your blue fetish, Jake,“ you grumble quietly.

“Well,” he says, clapping a hand onto your shoulder and smearing blue onto your skin, “we’ll have to see what we can do about that, won’t we?”

He shoots you double pistols and a wink, and you’re fucking _doomed_. There is no way this night isn’t going to end with blue paint all over both of you.

And, probably, considering the trail of blue streaks he’s left across the room, most of John’s furniture as well.


End file.
